Rain Storms and Sunsets

Now that we're at a stable and staggering 50-60 degrees, the storms that would otherwise be bringing in snow are now bringing in rain. I must say, this is a welcome change. It gives the soul a serious lift to see everything coming back to life, the grass returning to it's lush green color, and the sky staying light all the way until late into the evening. 

The constant slew of spring and summer storms just seems to make everything pop, too, once it tapers off and the clouds begin to separate. I always appreciated this back home, because it was very obvious the day after a good rain. The smog leaves temporarily and everything just always seems so vibrant. Imagine that being every day. During the warmer months, everything here just is so vivid and colorful and its beauty really is hard to beat. I love me some ocean and beach, but the intense greenery here just holds my heart. 

Of course, I took advantage of this and broke out my camera. Finally, something more exciting than a snow pile to capture! And, as if the lack of snow wasn't calling me enough, the fact that the clouds cleared right at sunset and made everything glitter in this utterly delicious way just sealed the deal. When little things like this happen, you just can't leave it to be ignored. The result was some ridiculous bokeh and just outright gorgeous photos with this beautiful flare from the sun setting. 

And to think, too, that this was all just in my backyard. 

P.S. This was the first time I shot in manual!

Hacked: Morris Edition

Okay, not really hacked. But, I know my cat and if he had the ability to dedicate a post to himself, he would. I realize that most people reading this are always aware of how obsessed we are with our fur child and of the amount of personality Morris has. However, most people have never met this little character or even really know all the chapters of his story. So, this post is dedicated to the life story (that we know of) of our baby, Morris.

A whopping three days after we got married and on the day I moved to the north country, we got the deployment bomb dropped on us. So, with that came a whirlwind of two months that were dedicated to spinning up for James leaving the country, me taking care of newly married woman business, and us not nearly spending enough time together. That's how Morris came to be. I got lonely and decided we needed a furry companion to keep me company during the rough time.

Yes, there he is in all his glory the day we got home. Five days after I arrived, little Morris the Mainecoon Armstrong forever joined our newly created family. And, believe it or not, I was not the one who chose him. I am a firm believer in letting the animal choose you, which he did. My rule breaking husband stuck his fingers in the cage and was, from then on, enchanted by this furry, grumpy looking cat that was then named Tony that gently head-butted his hand for loving. We had talked about having a furry, upset looking cat for quite some time, and he just fit the mold perfectly. James then, somehow, talked me out of getting a grey kitten that I had destined to be named Zucchini, and we brought home this little man instead. I'm sure it goes without saying that I'm glad we adopted him, because the bugger has stolen my heart.

We quickly learned that Morris was an explorer. The tile seemed to be his favorite spot, but no inch of our home went unexplored. He could be found anywhere, but his top exploring spots were in bags, on top of suitcases, and under the blinds.

It also became quickly apparent that this cat that appeared to only have "one look," which was angry, actually had many looks. My cat, Bug, back home was easily the most expressive cat I had ever met, but Morris quickly stole that award. Agitation, irritability, unamusement, appalled, happy, excited, crazed, tired, and drunk looking are just a few of his many expressions, all of which amused me to no end during his first few months with us.

Sadly, just a few months after he arrive, his Dad left to do military business in Afghanistan and Morris became very sad. After all, he had bonded with James at the shelter, and this is when I began to see that this little cat who tries so hard to hate everything was actually very attached to us. Soon, this antisocial boy became much more social, and I would find him sleeping in bed with me not too long after James had left. The seed for separation anxiety had been planted, and it full on grew when it was my turn to leave for a little bit. He demonstrated his distaste for this by sitting on top of my suitcase and not letting me pack.

And then, after James got back, we learned that he had even more of a distaste for getting groomed. Not only did he shun us after we brought him home, but we heard from the groomer that our gentle little guy was...not so gentle, and didn't hesitate to hiss and try to bite the entire staff. But, he warmed up eventually, and as much as he hates the grooming thing, he likes when he's not carrying around half his body weight in fur. Suddenly, sleeping on padded areas was very, very appealing. 

And, since then, he's decided his diva attitude was fun and something to keep up, so he did. Some of his favorite quirks are:

• biting us when he's decided he's had enough pets and loves instead of just leaving
• pushing his kibble out of the bowl to get to the "good" chunks
• leaving a single Morris poop outside of his litter box in protest when he's decided it needs to be cleaned
• pressing his face up to ours when he's declared it's time to wake up
• waving his tail and standing in front of any reading material
• knocking over picture frames sitting on shelves
• beating up any dog he comes in contact with

But, as much of a little punk as he is sometimes, he's also sweeter than we could've imagined. We did not anticipate an animal who would:

• greet us at the door every time we come home from somewhere
• sleep close by our heads at night
• crawl into James's lap every day when he gets home from work
• come for love and pets as soon as we wake up
• sit and cuddle up to us when we're down or ill
• be as good of a companion to me as he is when James is away
• come looking for us when he's scared and wants comfort

Morris has been nothing but perfect for us, and we truly love him as if he were our child. There's a reason I call him my baby and our son. He's bonded to us so much and he hardly ever leaves our sides. As I write this, he's laying right next to me (as close as he can without touching, of course). Low maintenance, but full of spunk and attitude, Mo truly has been given to us by a higher power as he is, literally, a combination of James and I in cat form, and he continues to melt our hearts more every time he head-butts us for some lovin'.

And because of this, and his photogenic little face, we will continue to spam you with his adorable feline self. 

Spring?

I apologize for a bit of an absence, but there is not much that goes on in my lonesome household. I, myself, have things to do to somewhat keep busy, but for the most part, my time alone is always fairly uneventful and the events that do occur are not exactly document worthy. I'm positive that no one really wants to hear of my grocery store adventures. I don't even really like grocery shopping by myself, so unless it were particularly entertaining in some way, it wouldn't be a chronicle I would tell.

I will, however, speak on a north country first for me - freezing rain! While the rest of the country celebrates the return of warm weather and green foliage, I frown at the continuation my never ending winter.

You would think that after experiencing just one winter here, I would have already paid my dues with this kind of weather. That assumption would be incorrect, though! Alas, I was a freezing rain virgin up until a few days ago. I've had snow in the middle of April (a horrible event in and of itself that I would hope I did not have to repeat...but, I did), 70 degree weather in April (something that everyone else would think is normal, but it is very NOT normal for here), and ice on the road, but never freezing rain.

In all truthfulness, it really wasn't that different than rain. Granted, I spent the whole experience inside, and when I drove, the ice had all melted away toward the end of the day as it gradually heated up. I'm sure others have had more traumatic experiences with it than I did. It was a neat thing to see, though. Up until that point, I had never seen anything completely encapsulated in a layer of thin, clear ice. And everything was covered like so. I thought it was so fascinating. You can see small buds on the trees that are getting ready to open, getting ready to begin their life, and yet they're coated in this smooth, clear, cold layer of ice. It's two completely opposing ideas, but they're meshed together.

Of course, I saw this as an opportunity to use my camera. Unfortunately, the ice was already beginning to melt and drip off of everything by the time I got out. It rained all day, and fairly hard, so I had to wait until it let up enough to not ruin our camera. Regardless, it still is a sight to see, especially if you've never witnessed anything of this nature, and in the long run, I'll be glad that I have something to look back on to remember this "first".

Update: Birthday Edition!

Yes, it's true, I am into my 20's, now. Today I hit the big 22, a whole year past real and true legality. 

With James being gone, I was really concerned that today was going to be a hard day for me. In our entire relationship, I think we've been together for both of our birthdays once. And even on those days, his leaving was looming. In 2011, he deployed the day after his birthday, and last year, he left for a training course for six weeks just a few days after mine. In general, us being together on holidays or birthdays doesn't happen often, so it's hard to continually have the list of important days missed grow. 

However, thanks to some really great people, today was much better than I anticipated. My awesome friend, Pam, took me out to breakfast this morning. The place we went to is called Tin Pan Galley, and let me tell you. Phenomenal. Food. I've been there but once before for dinner, and it was probably one of the best meals I've had during my time up here. With that in mind, I expected their breakfast to be equally as delectable. I was not let down. 

That, my friends, is creme brulee french toast, and it is as every bit as amazing as it sounds. If there was ever a perfect birthday breakfast, this is it. Those are my leftovers, too. The best part about that sentence is that it looks just as good as it did when the plate was placed in front of me. So, seriously, big props to Pam for this. 

This wonderful meal was followed by a mini shopping spree at Ulta. One, because Ulta is one of the best stores we have up here. Two, I had a 20% off coupon that expired tomorrow and there was no way I was going to let that go to waste, especially on my birthday. I found this fitting, too, because one of my presents from last year was also purchased from Ulta. I sense a tradition in the making. 

A skype date from my best friend, Susan, came after this, as well as a phone call from my Mom (telling me happy birthday and to check my mail for a birthday present, which I did - my family bought me photography classes! Eek! Such a perfect present!), and then, what is perhaps my favorite part of the day happened. 

My wonderful husband. Even when he is miles and miles away, he never fails to make me feel loved and special. We both agreed that my birthday present would come later (I'll expand more on this later when it is actually purchased), but being the good man he is, he wouldn't let me turn another year older without something, especially when he's away. Flowers are particularly special to me. 

When we were first dating and he would come home on leave, he would show up at my work every now and then with a random flower or bouquet, just because. He would do the same, too, even when he wasn't around. Sometimes, a delivery man would just show up with a vase of flowers for me. This brings me back to those sweet days of courtship, and if it's possible, I feel even more special now than I did, then. 

If this wasn't enough, I have gotten so much communication with him today. I have recently learned that what means most to me in my marriage is quality time. I greatly appreciate the other aspects of love, like words of affirmation and acts of service, but quality time is what makes me feel most loved. However, as you can imagine, quality time together is not easy to come by for us. Even when he's home, the relentlessness of this unit prevents us from truly getting that time together. So, because of this and some reading I've done, I've learned that quality time does not, literally, have to be time spent together. Quality time can mean just having a meaningful conversation. 

This is exactly what I've gotten today. Not necessarily meaningful or deep conversation, but I have gotten conversation and I know that James has gone out of his way to set time aside for me. That, above all, is more than I could ask for. When he's away, that is the best birthday present I could ask for.  I may not have had him here with me, but this was the best alternative, and I am so grateful.

Today was so much better than I had envisioned it turning out. So, cheers, to another year of life that has been lived. As my friend Susan had stated earlier, she is, "Glad that I came into this world with the fury and passion that is my 5'4" self." I'm sure a lot of people would agree with that, as would I. I've been created and put here for a reason and purpose, and I'm looking forward to where the next year of my life takes me. One day at a time, though, of course. 

Blessed

I just wanted to make a quick post and touch on how full my heart feels at the moment.

When James leaves, I face all sorts of hurdles. Not necessarily in tangible ways or in daily tasks that I have to handle alone, but in emotional ways. I do have to deal with those, but those aren't what tug at my heart. I'm talking about things such as coming home to an empty and lonely house, crawling into a bed made for two alone, seeing the Wrangler outside of the house and realizing it means James is really gone for a while.

My spouse is, truly, my best friend. He is my rock, my firm foundation, the person my heart is drawn to and eagerly wants to be with at the end of the day. It hurts a deep pain when he is gone and, as everyone feels when a loved one is away, I feel very lonely. I will adjust as I always do, but it's rough in the beginning.

After he left yesterday and the blog post had been put up, I just received so many warm comments and messages in regards to him, my own problems, and offering open arms whenever I needed them during the time he's away. I had a wonderful conversation with my family, people who are there for me regardless of the circumstance, but are most definitely there for me during this time. And on top of it, I have friends here (and far away in places like, oh, say, Spain) who are looking out for me and looking for ways to help in any place I need it.

I just realized I had a much bigger support system than I thought.

I am just so thankful and so blessed to have so many caring, sincere, and understanding people in my life who genuinely care about our wellbeing. As I mentioned earlier, my heart feels full. This is an incredibly rare feeling I get when James is away, but I am getting it right now. Even though I'm alone for the time being, I do not feel so. I can physically see it and I am in a sense, but I have so many invisible arms reaching out and holding me right now. Despite the fact that it's just Morris and myself in this house, I don't feel alone. The place James holds in my heart is empty right now, but I don't feel the burden of it's emptiness so much at the moment. This is more than I could ask for.

Thank you, everyone, for just being wonderfully decent people, for giving me something I didn't even know I needed, and for caring about my little family and I. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Some Big Happenings

As it always seems to go with our lives, we've had some big happenings, well, happen, in a very short time. This isn't atypical and I should have known that it would go this way by now, but I guess I had forgotten about this pattern after the lack of large things happening so quickly in recent times.

Here's a Run Down:

James' Impatient Therapy

We'd seen this one coming for a while. As hard as we, and some really spectacular people, fought, this was inevitable. The options boiled down to he either go or he get administratively discharged with no benefits. Because of the goals we have for ourselves, such as education, career, and one day starting our family (other than the fur baby), no benefits was no option. Off the table.

However, the swiftness of making this all happen was... not so swift. It took a month or two for them to work everything out, and then we were sprung with a date that gave us less than a week together before he was to leave. We were told that we'd have at least two weeks notice, but so much for that. Thanks, Air Force.

James left today (Sunday) and starts the program on the first. He'll be there for 28 days and comes back at the end of the month.

We got a dog! And then... we took it back to the shelter.

This was one that really pulled at my heart. With James leaving, I really wanted something that would help and be therapeutic to me. We had a cat in mind, but when we got to the shelter, there was an adorable little puppy that just called to us. We both fell in love with her.

However, this is a horrible case of just the wrong timing. Had we both been around to take care of her, she would have been such a good addition to our family. But, as the days went on with her, she began to become much more work than we had anticipated. Anticipated is really the wrong word, because that makes it come across as we didn't think it through. We thought it would be easy. Wrong. I wanted something to take care of, something to occupy my time. I wanted hard work. She was just too much.

As sweet as she was, she was a biter and the biting didn't stop. I am not unfamiliar to puppies. This little girl was just exceptional in the mouth department. And she needed more attention than I am mentally capable of giving at this time. The fact that she was really stressing out James, too, and really pulling at his PTSD levels didn't help.

Had he not had to leave and had both of us been a little more mentally sound, it would have worked. She would have been great. But, at the end of the day, we do need to care about ourselves most of all. I come first and James comes first. We knew she would get a home. Someone walked in right after us and wanted her. It just happened that what was best for us, right now, was to decrease the stress levels.

So, maybe another cat will be in our household soon. But, we are waiting on a dog until we have an idea of where we will be once this impatient treatment comes to a conclusion.

I mentioned my (and our) mental capacity.

Our families know of our conditions at this point, but not many outside of that circle are aware of what we are dealing with. I mentioned earlier that James is dealing with PTSD. I, myself, am dealing with psychological ailments, as well. I am very open with these things and have nothing to hide. It was just pertinent to me to have family know beforehand so we do not have the situation of them finding out through the great, wide internet rather than through a more personal interaction.

I have currently been diagnosed with G.A.D., which stands for generalized anxiety disorder, and EDNOS, which stands for eating disorder not otherwise specified. I know the newest version of the DSM will reclassify eating disorders and that diagnosis will change with it, but that is where it stands right now. This isn't something terribly new, not by any means, but it plays heavily into our future endeavors and it is, in my opinion, a fairly big deal. A big happening, if you will.


As far as right now, that is the extent of everything. Depending on how James does with impatient will determine quite a bit in terms of our life direction, such as if we'll be staying here or if we'll be heading back to CA to end the military chapter in our lives, but that bridge can only be crossed when we come to it in the next couple of months. Until then, here we are.

Hello!

Obligatory introduction post! Welcome to my (our) blog! 

I am hoping this with the creation of this blog, my ability to document things will improve. By improve, I really mean develop because I don't have any skills, really, in that department. So cheers to blogging about our lives, daily activities, and other things!