Blessed

I just wanted to make a quick post and touch on how full my heart feels at the moment.

When James leaves, I face all sorts of hurdles. Not necessarily in tangible ways or in daily tasks that I have to handle alone, but in emotional ways. I do have to deal with those, but those aren't what tug at my heart. I'm talking about things such as coming home to an empty and lonely house, crawling into a bed made for two alone, seeing the Wrangler outside of the house and realizing it means James is really gone for a while.

My spouse is, truly, my best friend. He is my rock, my firm foundation, the person my heart is drawn to and eagerly wants to be with at the end of the day. It hurts a deep pain when he is gone and, as everyone feels when a loved one is away, I feel very lonely. I will adjust as I always do, but it's rough in the beginning.

After he left yesterday and the blog post had been put up, I just received so many warm comments and messages in regards to him, my own problems, and offering open arms whenever I needed them during the time he's away. I had a wonderful conversation with my family, people who are there for me regardless of the circumstance, but are most definitely there for me during this time. And on top of it, I have friends here (and far away in places like, oh, say, Spain) who are looking out for me and looking for ways to help in any place I need it.

I just realized I had a much bigger support system than I thought.

I am just so thankful and so blessed to have so many caring, sincere, and understanding people in my life who genuinely care about our wellbeing. As I mentioned earlier, my heart feels full. This is an incredibly rare feeling I get when James is away, but I am getting it right now. Even though I'm alone for the time being, I do not feel so. I can physically see it and I am in a sense, but I have so many invisible arms reaching out and holding me right now. Despite the fact that it's just Morris and myself in this house, I don't feel alone. The place James holds in my heart is empty right now, but I don't feel the burden of it's emptiness so much at the moment. This is more than I could ask for.

Thank you, everyone, for just being wonderfully decent people, for giving me something I didn't even know I needed, and for caring about my little family and I. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.